bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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