3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
