My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
