Pappa wants mamma naked
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
