You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
