ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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