Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize