That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
