shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
