When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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