According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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