my vag is so smooth its legendary
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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