why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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