Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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