Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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