Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize