Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
