Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
