Christians are straight up FREAKS
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
