oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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