he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
