help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
