Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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