last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
