I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
