Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
