She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
