Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
