We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
