No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
