We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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