Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
