I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i believe in u and ur pee
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
