I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
