Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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