WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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