He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
