$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
