a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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