do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
