How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
