Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
