sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
