maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
