actually, I'm a sock model
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
