so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
