Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she looked like the before picture.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
