in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
