i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
