If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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