Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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