its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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