So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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