people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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