Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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