good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You're like the curious george of whores
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize